Very happy birthday wishes to Jackie, Annabella, Mom, Mindi, and Julia.
We've been celebrating all your births here, quietly at home.
Here's a festive little movie for your birth month enjoyment.
I feel like I keep making these posts: "Sorry we're late!" "I have more to say on that subject." etc. Yes, I really do need to get my act together. Because I do have a lot to say about Annabella turning 5 as well as a few surprising revelations about turning 36 myself. Soon. Soon. Everything deserves its own post. Right?
While we are on the road today, please be sure to go check out my flickr account here.
You can see loads of photos of recent events and just hanging out.
Many thanks to these fine people for letting us stay with them for, uh, ever.
Special thanks to Bailey for giving up her room, and to both Kayla and Bailey for their help with the kids.
Love you guys.
Let me say now, with not a trace of champagne even in the room, that the wedding was sheer delight.
Karen and Don have an amazing kind of love that just inspires a sort of awe. It's not put on. They put each other first. Once they lock eyes, it doesn't matter who was speaking, there is only each other.
The location was beautiful. The ceremony intimate and powerful. The crowd of family and friends was a delight. Everywhere you turned there were people smiling, laughing, loving, and sharing stories of the bride or groom. The cake was beautiful (see the video on my flickr.), the food was delicious, and the drinks plentiful and varied. Not to mention that the staff at The Mountain Terrace was spot on. And the DJ and dance floor were hopping.
I feel safe in saying everyone present was touched by the magic of what was happening.
A good time was had by all. You can find loads of pictures here.
The day was sunny and cool. Dana's house is a clutter free oasis of style. The menu was fresh and bright, loaded with lots of veggies and fresh herbs; a huge hit. There was even one tiny piece of carrot cake left for Karen to take home. Whether or not she gave it to Don, well, that's her decision to make, now isn't it?
We had a blind tasting of 5 red wines, graciously provided by the guests. A bottle to taste and a bottle for the bride and groom's wine cellar. To facilitate many spontaneously romantic evenings in their first year of marriage. As a bonus, the bride has notes on what each of them taste like, to her.
The winner, hands down, was a Clos du Bois Cabernet reserve, 2006, from the Alexander wine valley. But of course, one should never doubt the power of Clos du Bois to win over the masses. Second was a little 2003 Cabernet from St. Supery. An honorable third was a lovely Malbec from Argentina. See? We don't just drink California wines.
In addition to the many wines she received, Karen also received a lovely assortment of gifts to make the honeymoon more enjoyable. What could be better?
Special thanks to Dana for hosting, Dana and Tammie for planning, Heidi for finding the caterer.
Many thanks to the guests for making Karen's shower such a warm, festive affair.
July 4, 2008
Aptos, California
How I wish the battery on my camera hadn't given out. The characters in this parade continue to be priceless, year after year. This year I was particularly touched by how many people expressed their gratitude to the fire fighters.
The parade in Aptos was a good time, as usual. You can tell by the size of her smile that Annabella was thrilled to be there.
Redding and his lactose-free-soulpatch were not quite as pleased. Though he enjoyed being rolled around in his stroller, if we dared to stop rolling him he had a cow. I made the mistake of letting him out and he would not be made to stay with us. He was on his way.
Ironically, the parade included a toddler on a leash and later a dog in a stroller. Life today is so confusing.
Movies to come.
What do you do, if you have two weddings to attend in California? One in June, one in July, and a family of four to transport?
You fly out with the whole family, impose yourselves on your sister, her amazing family, and their new house near the beach, for a month.
Now what? Make lists, decide if the wetsuits must go (if so we'll need another suitcase), prepare the child mesmerizing devices, batten the hatches, all that good stuff.
Prepare to cram a summer-load of good times into one month. Prepare to love up my sisters, my brother, and their families and all our good friends. Prepare for the amazing wedding of Karen and Don. Prepare for the shortest 4th of July parade. Prepare for a beach full of drunks setting off illegal fireworks, like they're having flashbacks from 'Nam.
Oh yes, my friends. This is going to be sweet.
To all the wonderful fathers out there! Hope your day is special.
Today Annabella got to celebrate her birthday at school. It's kind of sweet of the teachers, really, if you think about it. They divvy up the last few days of preschool, and assign them to the kids with Summer birthdays.
She got to make a special birthday crown (with a little help) and pass out treats. She could not be happier, since she's been antsy for her birthday ever since we started planning Red's first birthday party.
Here she is, miss birthday girl.
If my glasses were just a bit more cat eye or my hair was more bouffant, it would be the ultimate 60's kids birthday party picture.
Red was not super jazzed about the cupcake. Nope, he didn't care that I baked them myself, that they were flavored with vanilla and almond. Real almond, not fake. That they were filled with seedless raspberry jam. That I whipped up homemade buttercream frosting with a hint of lemon.
Do one year olds ever care about the cake? I wonder.
It is Earth Day again, people!
I got to spend the day in Annabella's preschool classroom. Apparently I am the only mother in our little Minnesota town who has taught their kids about the concepts of recycling and planet earth. Ugh.
Be good to your mother. Mother earth.
Buy yourself a good reusable water bottle and better yet, use it.
Get yourself a couple reusable shopping bags. Leave the paper and the plastic at the store.
Make sure you recycle everything you can in your community. Get the kids involved. They'll love it.
Use one less napkin per day. Wash your hands at the sink or use a cloth napkin. Dry on a cloth towel.
Wash only full loads of laundry, in cold water.
Turn off lights when you leave a room.
Turn off the water while brushing your teeth.
If everyone did these simple little things, we could change the world. Leave the world we have in better shape for our children.
I can not believe it has been a year.
Without further ado, may I present Mr. Personality...
For more recent pictures and fun, check out my flickr.
Fifteen years and two weeks ago, I met Andrew. Fifteen years ago tonight, we went on our first date.
As you can see, both our relationship and this photo frame have taken a beating. But here we are, better and stronger than ever.
Happy Valentine's Day. Happy Favorite Anniversary. I love you.
Another Christmas has come and gone. I can't believe it.
We wrote Santa a note, left him some cookies and tea. We baked cookies. We picked out and decorated a tree together. We hung stockings by our new fireplace. Annabella picked out a stocking for Redding. We visited with family and friends here in Minnesota, and talked to the rest of the family on the phone.
Sometimes it seemed that the more we tried to stick to traditions, the more we were reminded of how things are different. I'm not saying things were bad. I'm not having a pity party. I'm just saying they were most definitely different. And I think we'll have to come up with new traditions that make the holiday feel more inclusive of those we can't celebrate with in person.
Bring on 2008!
I think these two were getting together and deciding what time to wake us up on Christmas morning.
Annabella suggested 6 a.m., early, but not so early we'd be annoyed. Red says, no that won't work with my schedule, it will have to be 4 a.m. That's the time I usually have the two of them up, running around like monkeys, trying to make me stop crying and go back to sleep.
Lots of love to everyone this holiday season! To everyone in California -- we miss you!
Have a Merry Christmas!
More movies tomorrow.
This is a brief excerpt from a conversation I had recently at a children's party. I couldn't help myself. The set up was too good. Once in a lifetime.
A: We got in late last night, then I was up all night frosting the rocket.
B: Oh, is that what you kids are calling it these days?
Click on the link. It will all make sense. Sickos.
Happy Birthday Kayla! I can't believe you're 17 already. I bet you'll hear that a lot today.
You know how much I love you and how proud of you I am, right?
But did you know... You were the first baby I ever loved? For real. Thanks for opening that door for me.
We don't live down the street anymore, unfortunately, so I don't get to see you so often. That makes the time we have together more special. Like having you come to Minnesota to visit with your mom was really wonderful. We miss you tons and talk about you a lot. Sometimes I wonder how I'll ever teach Red to walk, without you coming over every day after school. But maybe you taught Bella well enough, so that she can teach her little brother.
Happy Birthday. We love you a ton.
I would like to extend my thanks a little early this year.
My most heartfelt thanks go out to my family and friends. Over the last few years, with your love and support, I feel I've grown as a person. I've been giving it a lot of thought. Initially I thought it was perhaps motherhood which had changed me so profoundly. Once I got to thinking about it, though, it's much more than that.
Among the people I love, I've had great examples. I've had opportunity to blow off steam. I've had cause to reaffirm my belief in true love. I've had trials that pushed me to be kinder to others and kinder to myself. I've had the opportunity to relax and just be myself, and the freedom to try new things.
I am fortunate to have family both near and far, born to and found, that are helpful, patient, and giving. To have friends both near and far, who have really shown me a greater depth to friendship than I had previously known.
Thank you, every one. I hope you all have a wonderful day of thanks tomorrow, a beautiful kick-off to the holiday season, and a fast-track to a wonderful 2008. We'll be thinking of you tomorrow.
[A special love message going out to the Crooks / McKenzie / Martinez beach house and all of the family gathered there. We love you and wish we could be there. We'll see you soon, don't know when for sure, but soon. We miss you all very much.]
It's time to post about what has been going on.
Life comes with lots of challenges. We all know the list of the major-major ones. The ones that send many scattering for therapy or drugs. The only ones we haven't been through in the last 4 months are death and divorce.
We welcomed our second child Redding (along with the health issues for both Red and me), Andrew changed jobs, we bought our first house, and at the end of August we're moving to Minnesota.
You read that right. We are moving, on purpose, from the beach to the frozen North.
I've had a lot of trouble telling people. I think to a large degree it has been denial. If I don't tell anyone, we can't actually do it. Now here I am telling many occasional readers all at once. If I didn't tell you in person, please don't be mad. You can think I'm weak, but it is hard to look at the faces of family and friends and tell them good bye. I hate long good byes. I've moved quite a few times in my life, many of those moves between California and Minnesota, and lost more than a few friends along the way.
Though any change is difficult, I think this is the right move for us right now.
The house above is just lovely. To buy something comparable in California would be over $1 million and that's not just on the coast, that's inland, too. We will have 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms and one more of each when we finish the basement. A deck, a yard, a quiet street, a large play structure for the kids to play on in the backyard. Right now, we have a 3' clearance between the back of our house and a fence, 4 - 10' between the front of our house and a very busy road.
We will be expecting visits, phone calls, and e-mails. In this day and age there is no reason to lose touch.
If you can't think of a reason to visit, call, or e-mail, then do it to find out more about Chippy. Yes, our house comes with it's own chipmunk.
Hard to believe I've been so absent the last month. I have a pretty good reason, but we'll get into that at a later date.
Right now prepare yourself for the fabulous Aptos, CA 4th of July Parade!
First came the vets and other assorted hero types:
Bella was not ready for all the noise and such:
Red, who was strapped into a festive red bjorn was perfectly OK with the noise, but not yet ready for photo ops.
When the world's shortest dogs came out for the world's shortest parade, Bella started to get into it.
After a little hiding behind Uncle Joe, things got better and better:
As the parade moved on, we started to get into some things which are unique to this area.
The home for unwed horses:
A scene from Point Break?
A little politics, you know, for kids.
Diseases on parade:
Hippies with donkies:
Beauty queens, followed in short order by war protesters:
More peace activists:
Local weird dude:
Oh yes, there were colorful folks aplenty, to be sure. More tomorrow.
I can't believe my sweet baby girl is 4 years old today!
Sometimes it is hard to be the big sister. It seems like the baby has all the cool toys. That's OK, he doesn't mind sharing. She's got full control over the gym, his blankets, his boppy, the whole nine yards.
Even though you do talk a bit of baby talk, more now than when you were 2, because of the recent addition of your little brother, you are getting to be a great big helper. Here you are putting the cupcake cups in the muffin tins. You also helped measure and stir in all the ingredients. Last night you pulled all the rosemary off the stems, and placed them in the baking pan. Then, once I had the potatoes halved, you put them in on top. They were delicious.
Speaking of delicious, the cupcakes turned out pretty tasty as well.
Having your brother around means less attention for you, but you're coping very well. You are very sweet and nurturing with him. True, when he fusses you run and tell me then go hide. But it is still caring.
Because he is growing so fast, I spend a lot of time thinking about how different your arrivals have been. How small you were, how fragile. It is easy to forget as you grow so tall, so very strong, and mature, that we are so very lucky to have you here with us today. I thank my lucky stars that you are such a fighter. OK, maybe not every time you fight me on something, but I do try to focus on being grateful while teaching you some manners.
You are such an energetic bright light in the world. You walk into a room of strangers and see only new friends. People in stores comment on how friendly and full of energy you are. You are also nice to other children, a good sharer, and gentle with babies.
Your smile brightens my days. You make me so proud. I love you. Happy Birthday, big girl.
Last night I got to celebrate with a lovely lady turning 50. Happy Birthday Deb!
Plus, I got to celebrate St. Patrick's Day with the most Irish family I know, the Crooks.
It was a superb evening out, for this big old pregnant lady. Thank you all!
Today? Back to the couch, to recover from the fabulous dinner; corned beef, cabbage, potatoes, burnt almond cake and Joe's (AMAZING) homemade creme brulee. Wow.
Yesterday we said goodbye to a very good family friend. Don Crooks, the anchor of the large Crooks family, has passed away.
There have been many insightful and eloquent tributes paid to him by friends and family over the last few days. I can't even begin to recount them here. Suffice it to say that the man gave, to everyone he encountered, with all his heart, all that he had to give.
My grandfather (OK, my Poppop), the apple of my young eye, was actually quite ill most of my young life. He used to miss me something fierce when I'd go home after spending the weekend with him and my Nana. He would tell me, "It's always 'so long', never 'goodbye'."
For most of my life I've had little issue saying goodbye. I'm seldom scared I'll never see someone again. I try to make sure all my loved ones know they are loved. Even if it is sometimes awkward telling a friend, "I love you." I do it. Even as I internally roll my eyes at my own mushiness.
I must confess that I told Don that I loved him on a fairly regular basis for at least the last two years. And it wasn't just by baking him his beloved rhubarb (only, please, thank you very much) pie. There was a distinctly odd satisfaction I got out of it, because he didn't say it back.
He didn't need to. He was all show, little tell. Yeah, it's a qualitative difference.
So long, dear man. Thank you for all the laughs, your kindness, generosity of spirit, and for leaving me inspired.
Chocolate Love from Gragra and Poppa!

Thanks guys, big shocker, she loves the candy. And yes, we made her wait until it was Valentine's Day.
More pictures on Flickr.
This morning, Andrew, Bella, and I got up way too early and drove over the hill. The reason? We are the 2007 Ambassador Family for the March of Dimes South Bay.
We got to stand in front of about 100 people and tell our (Bella's) story. It was an amazing experience. I hope to do it again, and better.
Bella was just giddy with all the people, the lights, she danced on and around the small stage and podium. We were horrified, but everyone else, even those trying to speak at the time, was charmed and said to let her go.
This year's Walk America theme is: A Million Ways To Show Your Love. How sweet is that?
Happy Valentine's Day to everyone! Especially to my lovely sisters Tammie and Karen who made it to the kickoff this morning. Your support means more than I can say.
Don't forget to show your love at my Walk America Site.
And a very special Happy Second Anniversary to Dennis and Melissa. I hope you two are just as happy and in love today as the day you were married.
Happy Birthday Bailey! We were thinking of you on Saturday. Hope you had a great birthday.
The video of your competition cheer was FANTASTIC! Your squad is really together, and quite talented.
We love you tons and miss you lots.
Happy Sweet 16!
We bid a fond farewell to 2006 and set our eyes on the horizon in eager anticipation of a bright 2007.
There weren't so many resolutions in my life this year. While my list of resolutions usually read like a page out of Bridget Jones' Diary (lose 20 lbs., stop smoking, drink less) this year is different. Being pregnant I can't do any of those three for another 6 months or so, and I haven't been doing any of them for almost 4.
One thing I have resolved to do is to have Bella do more for herself and help around the house more. She couldn't be more thrilled. She loves to help, it is usually my patience that dictates that I must do things for her, like dress her. She puts her dirty clothes in the hamper, she puts her books back on her book shelf, she helps clean up her toys, she even will help me recycle and set the table. I'm a lucky mom.
I've also resolved to start taking more pictures again. I really do love sharing that record of our daily lives with everyone.
Hope you all had a fun new year's eve, and that you have a wonderful new year.
We bid a fond farewell to 2006 and set our eyes on the horizon in eager anticipation of a bright 2007.
There weren't so many resolutions in my life this year. While my list of resolutions usually read like a page out of Bridget Jones' Diary (lose 20 lbs., stop smoking, drink less) this year is different. Being pregnant I can't do any of those three for another 6 months or so, and I haven't been doing any of them for almost 4.
One thing I have resolved to do is to have Bella do more for herself and help around the house more. She couldn't be more thrilled. She loves to help, it is usually my patience that dictates that I must do things for her, like dress her. She puts her dirty clothes in the hamper, she puts her books back on her book shelf, she helps clean up her toys, she even will help me recycle and set the table. I'm a lucky mom.
I've also resolved to start taking more pictures again. I really do love sharing that record of our daily lives with everyone.
Hope you all had a fun new year's eve, and that you have a wonderful new year.
Oh Christmas. What a wonderous time. Bella was excited last night, but managed to do a great job going to bed.
She wrote a nice note to put out with the plate of cookies for Santa, with help from dad.
She posed with all the amazing load of presents from family and Santa. When we asked her if she was ready to start opening them, she said, "Not yet. Not until Christmas."
"Bella, it is Christmas; go, go, go!" And away she went. Giddy with delight.
From there, it was impossible to catch her movement with conventional methods. She ripped and sorted and went back for more with unabashed glee.
We had a great morning. Hope you all did, too.
I can not believe it is December 21 already. The days since December started have really flown by. And I've hardly done a single productive thing all month. Oh well.
OK, I did get Bella to pose with Santa, though she wasn't too sure about the whole thing once she got up on his lap. Can you blame the kid? She just doesn't usually sit on strangers laps. Even if they are strangers of legendary proportions.
OK, yes, most of the cookies were baked before December even got here. I've only managed to squeeze in a few more in the last few days. So far I've made sugar cookies, jam thumb prints, peanut blossoms, chocolate chip oatmeal, chocolate walnut fudge, welsh cookies, nut roll, and pecan sandies. On Monday, Bella and I made a new one, toffee bars. But you won't see any of my weirder cookies, such as apple, pumpkin, or lemon.
Just today, I managed to bake Andrew's favorites, oatmeal raisin. Other family favorites I've heard over the years have not made it into the lineup this year. Jackie, I love you but there's no chocolate refrigerator cookies this year. Irene, I love you but there's no anise cookies this year (I don't think I did your recipe justice, anyway). Joe, man, there's no oatmeal scotchies, but love and oatmeal raisin. Eric, I never have managed to make white chocolate macadamia, I'm sorry and yes I do love you.
If the stars align properly, I may be able to get the standard chocolate chip cookies and the ginger snaps (molasses crinkles) done this weekend.
I blame the pregnancy. I just don't have the baking stamina I once did. Last night I turned on the oven to preheat and start making the oatmeal cookies and the smell of it made me sick as a dog. I feel great, but I do still need to watch it.
Happy Holidays. Ho Ho Ho.
A very happy sweet 16 birthday to my niece Kayla.
We all love you tons. You're growing into quite a lovely young lady.
Happy birthday to you!
A very happy birthday to the only person in the world named after me.
Hope you had a great day today with your mom!
Congratulations to Erika and Tom, whose first son Kurt was born just 3 days after Bella, was also a 26 weeker. They are expecting baby number three in June.
What a strange and wonderful coincidence it is to be expecting babies around the same time again. Only this time we know each other. Yeah babies!
First, and foremost, I am thankful for my beautiful and highly entertaining family. There is never a dull moment with these two. We laugh, we cry, we play, and we argue. If it wasn't worth it, we wouldn't bother.
Next, I am thankful that we are expanding the family. Thankful that everything is going smoothly. Thankful without end.
A very happy thanksgiving to all family and friends, where ever you find yourselves this holiday.
The other day, when I asked her what she would like Santa to bring her for Christmas, Bella said, "Decorations for our house."
This is kind of a stunning answer from a 3 year old, who just read a whole bunch of books about Christmas.
Over the last week or so, we've been out to Target, Kmart, and Costco, for various items and general holiday browsing. So, after she went completely nuts over the animatronic polar bear singing Christmas Carols at Costco, I thought I would be in for a vastly different answer. Although, technically, the bear would qualify as decorations for the house...
Her answer tonight stopped Andrew in his tracks in the kitchen. Tonight she got specific. She said, "I want a Christmas tree, a bell, and a diamond."
Andrew stopped washing the dishes and told me to put this day on the calendar. I assured him that she must mean the shape diamond, which she is very familiar with. Because the gem diamond, she has absolutely no reference point for. Mommy's ring is just mommy's ring. She's not interested.
Oh, but she is very interesting.
We made it down to the beach this afternoon for a sunny, bustling adventure in the sand. Lots of tourists lining our sunny shore, but hardly a wave to bee seen.
Andrew and Bella burried each other's toes in the sand. They're pretty darn cute, if I do say so myself.
There's lots more beach pictures over at Flickr.
This weekend also marks the 10th wedding anniversary of Tammie and Joe. Congratulations guys! I'd post more, but I'm still having flashbacks of when Tammie threatened violence if I talked about her at work. :0) No, really, she threatened me. So, whoever you are, and where ever you are this weekend, celebrating that thing that you're celebrating, I hope you're both having a wonderful time. And don't worry, I won't tell anyone on the interenet your deepest darkest secrets, except that you like to threaten me.
We also had a lovely dinner last night with Dennis and Melissa. Bella was already excited to see them, but then they went and brought her a present for her birthday, and now she just can't wait for them to come back. Thank you very much for my present, too! Sorry I neglected to open it. I get all flustered when we have people over, wanting everything to be perfect. Which it never is, but then nothing is ever perfect when people aren't here, so why the hell do I freak out? Hmm... Post traumatic stress from all the threats I've been receiving, I think. Anyway, they were here, they were great, we love them and can't wait to see them again. No pressure.
Hope everyone has loads of fun and sun this weekend.
By the way, Bella insisted on wearing the sunglasses which she got for her first birthday (from Kurt, Erika, & Tom, Christian not yet being born), so that she could be like 'everybody' meaning us, her parents. Second, she would not put down the "52 fun things to do at the beach" cards which Tammie gave me for my 29th birthday, I think. People, our birthday month is over, but we just love our presents. Anyone out there waiting for those thank you cards, they'll be coming this week, I swear.
This year Bella and I were actually in town for the festivities. It was so great. The weather was perfect. Not too sunny, not too warm. Just wonderful. The parade in Aptos was a riot. A small taste of life in a small town. I've got photos in flickr, click on the thumbnail to see more.
Hope everyone had a great July 4!
Today is my little sister's birthday. Yeah! I love you Lannia!
Today is also the birthday of my friend Mindi's son, Henry. Welcome to the world little man.